Quickies
by xkuramaxhieix
Summary: Just some drabbles that come to mind every now and then.
1. Let's talk about sex

Disclaimer: One Piece and all of the characters don't belong to me, and I don't profit from this at all.

A/N: So, this is going to be a collection of drabbles, as ideas come to me, I'll upload more drabbles. Of course, you're more than welcome to send me drabble requests on tumblr as well.

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Zoro stealthily crept into the kitchen, careful to keep his steps light and fast. Even with the commotion of Luffy, Chopper and Usopp running around on Thousand Sunny's deck, the love-cook's ears were still sharp. As Zoro crept across the floor of the kitchen, keeping low to the ground, he kept an eye out for the cook, well, his only eye, out for the cook.

Spotting Sanji standing by the sink washing dishes, Zoro took the chance to pick up the pace as he inched closer and closer to the fridge where Sanji usually kept a bottle of his favorite booze chilled for him. He normally wouldn't have to sneak around, but Sanji was being particularly difficult today and wouldn't let him have any, forcing Zoro to resort to sneaking around.

With a triumphant smirk, Zoro reached the fridge without Sanji's notice. However, before he could open the fridge to steal the bottle, he was rolling to the side to avoid the foot that had now dented the fridge. Leaping to his feet, he came face to face with one pissed off lover. He snarled "Oi! Curly brow, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

Sanji exhaled and plucked the cigarette from his lips as he said "Oh? I seem to have caught a rat in my kitchen. What the hell does it look like, marimo?! You're trying to steal booze from my kitchen, and I already told you, you don't get any today for the shit you pulled last night!"

Zoro glared at Sanji and said angrily "I already told you it was a fucking accident, you prissy cook! Why the fuck are you throwing a tantrum over one plate?! It's not like Luffy hasn't trashed plates before! We have plenty left!" Zoro instinctively used a sheathed Wadou to parry the kick aimed for his head. Sanji shouted at the other male at the same time "Fucker, that's not why I'm upset! I made the fucking onigiri for you and you wasted some of them!"

Oh.

Well that explained a lot. Sanji always has this hang up about wasting food, but in this case, it really couldn't be helped. The plate's shards had been ground into the flattened onigiri thanks to either Luffy's sandal or Usopp's boot, so the food had to be wasted. Still, Zoro wasn't happy that he was being punished when it really wasn't his fault. Luffy had knocked the plate from his hand, and the ensuing reaction had lead to a rather angry game of chase with Luffy laughing like an idiot as he ran. Still, Zoro wanted the damn booze.

Well, no helping it then. Zoro sighed and decided to use his secret weapon. The cook was already riled up and angry, so he might as well make it worth his while for stealing the booze. Sheathing Wadou back in his haramaki, Zoro watched the other male warily, watching to see if Sanji would attack him. Satisfied that the other male wouldn't, Zoro made his move. Opening his mouth, Zoro started to softly sing a song, one he knew would catch Sanji's attention "Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be."

As Zoro sang, his voice dropped into a husky, seductive purr. He delighted in watching Sanji shiver in response, knowing that the song, and his voice were having an effect on the male. At the same time, Zoro approached Sanji slowly. Tapering the song off into a hum as he pressed Sanji back against the counter, he leaned in to nuzzle Sanji's neck as Sanji stubbed out the cigarette in anticipation of what was coming next.

Zoro turned to kiss Sanji instead. Kissing the other male hungrily, he held on to Sanji's hips, grinding against the other male and guiding the other male to move with him. Pressing Sanji against the counter once more, Zoro continued to kiss a pliant Sanji. Ah yes, Sanji was weak now. Now was the time to strike!

Continuing to kiss and distract Sanji, Zoro's nimble fingers got to work. When Zoro finally broke the kiss, Sanji whimpered in protest, opening his shut eyes to glare at Zoro, only to yelp at the cold bottle pressed against his cheek. "Oi, you bastard!" he snarled, glaring at a smirking Zoro.

Zoro, in response said "Thanks for the booze, cook." Leaning in, he purred in Sanji's ear "Let's talk about sex, baby…later." Laughing, he kissed Sanji's lips quickly before taking off, leaving Sanji standing in front of the half opened fridge with an expression of outrage on his face.

As the door to the ship's galley swung shut, Zoro heard a distinct shout of "MARIMOOOO!"

Sex.

It worked every time.


	2. Missing Him

**Disclaimer**: One Piece and all the characters belong to Eiichiro Oda. I don't make a profit off of this.

**A/N**: Based on my headcanon I posted on tumblr. Yes, I cried while writing that headcanon, and yes, I cried while writing this(a little bit).

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Luffy doesn't think about Ace often, but when he does, he sits on the head of Thousand Sunny and looks out at the ocean. After a while, he'll pull a bead from his pocket and will just look at it. It's a red bead that looks old, and altogether ordinary. It's dirty, and scratched, but that's okay. It belonged to Ace, and that's all that matters to Luffy. It's a part of Ace that Luffy brings with him everywhere. Luffy thinks that if he brings the bead with him, the day he becomes King of the Pirates, Ace will be there too.

For now, Luffy holds the bead, thinking that Ace is watching over him, cheering him on. He knows Ace would be proud of him. That doesn't stop the tears though. They don't come often, but every once in awhile, when he's missing Ace, he'll cry. Luffy always misses Ace, the pain of losing his precious brother never goes away, but he resolves to move forward. He doesn't look back on what he could have done, or what could have been, he just misses Ace. He misses knowing that Ace is somewhere out there in the world, doing whatever he does. The ache in his heart doesn't fade, but when he's with nakama, he can forget about it for a little while.

On days like these, Sanji will make him lots of extra meat, Usopp will tell him the funniest stories, and Chopper will want to play a lot more. Zoro would sit quietly by the figurehead and wait for Luffy to come down. Nami and Robin will give Luffy the space he needs. Franky will have something cool to show him, and Brook will play cheerful music, or join him in melancholy and play 'Bink's Sake'. Each of his nakama has their own way of trying to cheer him up, and Luffy appreciates it. He appreciates the crew being there for him.

Today is a crying day, but Luffy resolves that he won't cry. He bites his lip and swallows the tears as he thinks of Ace. Pushing the tears away, he shoves the bead in his pocket, and wipes his eyes. Turning around to face the crew scattered around on the deck, he forces a grin and rejoins them on deck to play games.

Later that night, when everyone's asleep in bed, or out on deck on watch, Luffy pulls the blankets over his head, and cries.

_Watch over me, Ace!_


	3. Personal Plumbing

**Disclaimer**: One Piece and all of the characters belongs to One Piece. I don't make a profit from writing these stories.

**A/N**: So this was inspired by blacktaiyou's art on tumblr. If I could figure out how to link the art, I would. Anyways, please enjoy this quick drabble.

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Sanji was really enjoying the view.

He had his favorite glass of red wine, and there was a very gorgeous moon out tonight. It was really turning out to be a great night tonight.

The moon was nice, full, and gorgeous. Ah, but the moon was also firm, toned, and deliciously squeezable. It also happened to be clad in a _very _nicely fitted pair of dark brown khaki cargo shorts. Oh yes, it was a very, _very,_ nice moon. The rest of the package attached to the moon that Sanji was currently admiring was really nice too. A dark, fitted olive green wife beater clung to the man's toned frame, matching the khaki cargo shorts perfectly. The man's toned body that was hidden under the wife beater, came from years of weight lifting and mixed martial arts training. Oh yes, Sanji was _intimately_ familiar with that body, much to his own personal pleasure. Sanji watched as the body in front of him flexed and moved, bent over and under the sink, installing the last of the pipes for his new kitchen sink.

Finished with the installation of the last pipe, Sanji watched the man back out from under the sink and get to his feet. Sanji sighed in disappointment as the moon he'd been admiring just a few moments ago, disappeared. Blowing out a steam of smoke, Sanji watched as the male, who Sanji affectionately called 'marimo' but preferred the name 'Zoro', strip the work gloves off his hands and toss them onto the counter next to the newly installed sink. Leaning against the sink counter, Zoro adjusted the light tan worker's belt on his hips, hiking the sagging belt a little bit higher up on his hips. Folding his arms across his well-toned chest, Zoro asked raising an eyebrow, "Satisfied, Mr. Blackleg?"

Resting his elbows on the counter, Sanji cupped his chin in his hands and giving Zoro a dopey, flushed grin, said happily "Uh-huh." He really was... Satisfied, that is. Very. But, Sanji couldn't help but think of other ways he could be satisfied, more _personal_ ways he could be satisfied. Plucking the cigarette from his lips, he put the half-finished cigarette out in the ash tray next to his elbow. Pushing the ash tray to rest next to the half-finished glass of wine in front of him, he decided that now was a great time to have Zoro work on some personal plumbing. Slipping off the bar stool, he sauntered around the counter, hyper-aware of Zoro's gaze on him. Sauntering up to Zoro, Sanji looped his fingers in the worker's belt that Zoro wore, pulling the male's hips forward a little to rest against his own. Sanji then looked up at Zoro and purred "But you know, Mr. Roronoa, I can think of _other_ ways you can satisfy me. I still have some home projects for you to finish, if you're interested?"

Zoro smirked. Oh yes, he was _very _interested. Reaching out with his hands, he wrapped his arms around Sanji's waist, pulling the man flush against him, satisfied with the pleased squeak that Sanji emitted from the sudden movement. He rumbled, playing along with Sanji's request "Oh? And what other home projects do you have left for me to do. Mr. Blackleg?"

Sanji was thrilled that Zoro was playing along. It wasn't often that they played games like this, but when they did, they were definitely memorable. Sanji purred, trying to keep too much excitement from bleeding into his voice, and ruining the game, as he ground their fronts together "How are you with _personal_ plumbing, Mr. Roronoa?"

Zoro groaned softly in pleasure at the much needed friction, but he answered with a small smirk "I'm very experienced with personal plumbing." Reaching out to cup Sanji's ass, he kneaded the black slacks clothed globes of flesh in his hands. He leaned down to purr in Sanji's ear, blowing hot air across the shell of Sanji's ear, "Especially with your personal plumbing, Mr. Blackleg." Zoro felt Sanji shudder in his grasp and grinned smugly. It was always nice to feel Sanji's responsive body against his own. Nipping Sanji's ear lobe, he purred "Does your plumbing need to be checked, Mr. Blackleg?" He ground his front against Sanji's, feeling the answering swell of the man's growing erection.

Sanji said breathily, eagerly anticipating what was coming next, "Damn straight, Mr. Roronoa." Hastily unbuckling the worker's belt from Zoro's waist, he ignored the sound of tools and the belt clattering to the floor. It was time to move things along, Sanji felt like he was going to die from the anticipation of what was to come next. Deftly wrapping his legs around Zoro's waist, he grinned and said breathlessly, voice thick with arousal "So how about we go check the plumbing in my bedroom?" He felt the vibrations from Zoro's chuckles reverberate through his body. After Zoro's chuckles died down, Zoro answered "I'd love to, Mr. Blackleg." After that, Sanji didn't even bother to respond because Zoro's lips were pressed against his own, eagerly prying Sanji's mouth open with his tongue. Wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck, Sanji felt Zoro lurch under him as the male stood up and started to move somewhat clumsily towards their bedroom.

Sanji was lucky that they'd been living in this apartment for awhile, otherwise he was pretty sure that Zoro would have gotten lost, or tripped over things before they made it to the bedroom. Nothing killed the mood faster than his idiotic, but lovable, mosshead stubbing his toe or getting lost in the bathroom when they were aiming for the bedroom.

When Sanji's back hit the bed, he watched as Zoro was about to remove his shirt, when a sudden thought occurred to him. He said hastily "Oi, wait, Zoro! Keep your shirt on." Zoro looked up at Sanji, a frustrated expression crossing his features as Zoro said "Don't fucking tell me you're going to back out now, cook. If you chicken out now, I'm gonna-" Sanji cleared his throat to interrupt the male, knowing that Zoro was about to go on tirade about Sanji once again cock blocking him. He said before Zoro could even finish the complaint "No, no. It's just..." Sanji's face pinked as he hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to phrase his desire without Zoro misunderstanding or teasing him and killing the mood. Zoro, impatient and horny beyond belief could really care less at this point. He just wanted to get on with it already. Zoro demanded, the impatience bleeding into his voice "Just what, cook?" Sanji fidgeted under Zoro, the male's heated and frustrated stare making him a bit embarrassed as he grumbled "I like the idea of fucking you in your handyman clothes." At this admission, a huge grin spread across Zoro's face.

Looking rather pleased with himself, Zoro said "Hou~ so the cook has a fetish for handymen?" Zoro wasn't all that surprised really. It seemed that Sanji had a uniform fetish when it came to Zoro. Not that Zoro could complain. He liked seeing Sanji in all those fancy ass suits the man wore when he went to work, but still, he enjoyed giving Sanji hell for it whenever he could. Sanji's head snapped up and he glared at Zoro as he said impatiently "Well? Are you going to make fun of me or are you going to get on with it, mosshead?" Zoro, still far too smug about Sanji's admission, said in a sing song voice "Don't worry Mr. Blackleg, I'm an expert in personal plumbing. Just make sure you tip the handyman when we're done."

Zoro's laughter echoed in the air as he spent the rest of the night _thoroughly _examining Mr. Blackleg's personal plumbing.

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**Extra A/N: **Yes, I'm aware it's kinda dumb and cheesy, but hey, I think it's a cute kind of cheesy, so please read and review!


	4. Next to Me

**Disclaimer**: One Piece and all the characters belong to Eiichira Oda and I don't own them or profit from these stories.

**A/N**: So, this story was inspired by the song "Next to Me" by Emeli Sande. Funnily enough, I wasn't even listening to this song when the plot bunny came to mind, I was actually grocery shopping and the lyrics from the song just popped into my head. One of these days, I'll probably write another drabble based on a Placebo song. I've got an idea too, so we shall see.

I'm not sure if anybody knows this or not, but I do accept prompts via tumblr! So, if you have a prompt/drabble request, feel free to contact me via tumblr and send me a prompt/drabble request! My tumblr username is the same as it is on here. So my tumblr is .com, something like that, yeah? Anyways, that's my tumblr, so if you have a prompt for me, please send it to me via tumblr!

Please read and review, as always!

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I don't know what you were thinking when you left him.

Did you even think?

For that matter, did you even care?

No, I don't think you did, because if you cared about him as much as I do, you'd see what I see. You'd see a man, capable, strong and caring, and you'd never let him go. Not for anything. If you saw him the way I saw him, you'd realize how lucky you are to have him. How lucky you are to have him in your home, and in your life.

Did you turn him away because he wasn't fancy enough for you? Or was it the scars? Each and every scar tell a story, like a map of his life. Did you know that? I did. I was there when he was in the hospital after losing the fight to Mihawk. Did you even know about that? Did you even care? Or was the fact that he was strong, and honorable all that mattered to you? When he came to me after you left him, he wasn't crying. He doesn't cry anymore. He can't cry. The last time he cried was when he buried his sister. Did you know that? No, I bet you didn't. He came to me, heartbroken, and in pain. His lips trembled, and he scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, like he wanted to cry. But he didn't. I told you, didn't I? He doesn't cry anymore.

I took him in that night, I gave him all the alcohol and the food he wanted, and I kept him company. You don't know this, but he really loved you. Really. As much as he was capable of it, he loved you, and you hurt him. If he let me, I would have tracked you down and kicked the shit out of you, but he didn't want that, so I didn't. I didn't want to hurt him any more than you already had. He was already so fragile. It was like he was made of glass. That's how badly you hurt him. Did you know that? He loved you, truly. Zoro's a lot of things. He's a brute, an idiot, a mosshead, he likes alcohol far too much, and he's not very respectful when it comes to women, and ridiculously direction-challenged, enough that it's more frustrating than cute, and he's also a sword-obsessed jerk. Believe me, I know about Zoro's bad qualities. I am his best friend after all. But did you even think about his good qualities when you broke him? When you earn Zoro's loyalty, he's loyal to a fault. He believes in you wholly and completely. He's a good man. Honorable. He stands up for his friends, defends them, fights for them. Did you even consider how reliable he can be when you need him? Zoro's not a man of many words, but when you tell him you need him, come hell or high water, he will be there to help you, even if he doesn't want to.

If you don't even know about these qualities, then I suppose you don't know about Chopper, or how he treats Chopper, do you? Out of all of our friends, Chopper is the youngest at seventeen years old. Chopper's a child really. He's also incredibly smart and training to be a doctor. If you knew about Chopper, you'd know how Zoro treats Chopper. Chopper is like a little brother to Zoro, and Zoro is Chopper's big brother. Zoro protects Chopper, watches out for him, and takes care of him. If you look carefully, you'd notice how Zoro lights up with pride when Chopper is around. Zoro's very much the proud big brother.

If you had noticed that, I wonder if you'd have stayed?

But you didn't. You broke him, shattered him, destroyed his heart and left it in so many tiny pieces that there wasn't anything to pick up but dust. I bet you knew that, and I know you didn't care. When Zoro came to me, he stayed with me for a week. It was too painful for him to go home he'd said. So I'd let him stay, sheltered and protected as he tried to regroup and recover.

All our friends were angry. Luffy especially when he found out. Luffy has his own big brother, Ace, but he looks up to Zoro and respects Zoro. Zoro's also one of his best friends, and Luffy takes care of his friends, no matter what. They were out for blood. They would have killed you if they'd found you, but Zoro held them off. He'd insisted they leave you alone. I wonder if you know that, or are you blissfully unaware? I hope not. You don't deserve it.

Yeah, I heard.

Zoro told me what you'd said to him when you broke up with him. He hadn't meant to let it slip, but I'd made him tell me. Such a silly thing, we'd been sparring, trash talking, and Zoro had seemed to be cheering up a little bit, but then one of us said something, something small, insignificant, and he'd just...clammed up. It took a lot of alcohol and coaxing before he told me. He told me all the names you'd called him when you broke up with him. He told me how you called him "useless", "trash", and a nobody. He told me how you insulted him, degraded him. Did you know that Zoro doesn't bottom? Normally he likes to top, but he bottomed for you, because he loved you and you destroyed him for it. You made fun of him, called him names, hurt him, broke him. He became vulnerable for you, let you see the side of him that very very few people have seen, not even his friends, and you broke him. Was it fun? Laughing at him and his insecurities? Was it enjoyable? Did you enjoy hurting him? Breaking him?

Because believe me, you did a fucking fantastic job of it. When he came to me that night, I'd never seen him so broken, so hurt. You really messed him up. But, if that's all you'd done, I couldn't forgive that, but I could be a bigger man, overlook it, and just shelter him, protect him from your words. No, you made it worse.

You mentioned his sister, Kuina.

You _knew_ how much Zoro loved her, how much he blamed himself for her death, and yet you brought her name into this. You told him it was his fault she died. Like hell it was! Kuina had cancer, it wasn't something Zoro could control, or fight. It wasn't anybody's fault that Kuina got cancer, she just got dealt a shitty hand in life. Yet you blamed him for her death, twisting the knife in deep, adding to his grief. Did it make you feel better about yourself when you told Zoro that Kuina died because Zoro was a faggot? Did you enjoy telling him Kuina died because Zoro was so weak that he couldn't even beat Mihawk? Did you enjoy telling Zoro that Kuina was probably suffering in heaven because Zoro was a shameful person and that she would have been ashamed of him if she were still alive today? How much of a man did you feel like when you told Zoro this? Did it satisfy you? Make you happy to see Zoro so broken?

Words hurt.

Especially Zoro. Zoro's always so strong, but you knew what would hurt him, how to twist the knife just right so that it would hurt Zoro.

In case you were wondering how you did, you did a good job. A really good job.

I know that you did get some just desserts after everyone found out about how you used Kuina against Zoro. Not even Zoro could stop us from going after you, and he tried, believe me he did. I led the charge of course. Luffy enjoyed helping me. So did Nami. Robin did too. But then, you know that. I wonder how you're paying off the hospital bills? When Luffy broke your jaw, did it hurt? I hope it did. How about your legs? Your arms? I enjoyed breaking those. But I can't take all the credit. Robin must have been especially terrifying when she whispered all those things in your ear. To this day. I'm still too scared to ask her what she said to you, and I probably never will. Luffy, and I enjoyed putting you in the hospital. Robin got to enjoy scaring you, because even though she never says it out loud, she loves Zoro like a younger brother, and she's very protective of him, even if he doesn't always know it. I know a small part of you must still be hurting all this time later. Nami was the one who bankrupted you, in case you were wondering. She's always been very good with money and numbers. When Nami's vindictive and angry, she's even better. She may be an accountant, but if she wanted to, she could easily set up and run a profitable loan sharking business on her own. She's that good, something I know you're intimately familiar with, if you've seen your bank account and apartment recently.

But if you think your recovery will be bad, it's nothing like what you did to Zoro, and how you left him. The first month after you broke up with him, Zoro was self-destructive, and he punished himself harshly for being so weak. He fought anybody and everybody that would fight him. He ended up in jail a couple of times because of fighting or his drinking. We almost lost him a couple of times during the first month. Still, with time, his friends, myself included managed to piece him back together, to hold him up when he needed us. Because you see, we love him. He's family, and we take care of family. Regardless of how we're related.

A month later, Zoro and I started dating. It was difficult at first. Zoro kept throwing himself into it, only to suddenly pull away, like he expected me to hurt him. I would never do that. I've been waiting so long for Zoro, that I would never willingly hurt him like you did. I care about him too much to lose him. But, it's hard. We've been officially dating for four months now. Things are slow, and that's okay with me. Zoro is still fragile. He won't admit it out loud, but every so often, he thinks of your words, and of Kuina, and he'll get this expression on his face. Most people don't notice it, but I do. His brow furrows, and he grits his teeth, he looks as if he's scowling, and he is, but he's thinking too. He questions himself sometimes, looks at himself and wonders if Kuina would have been proud of him, if Kuina died because he was gay. Those days, he spends the day at the gym and doesn't come home until an hour after the gym's closed, and even then, he's still especially sensitive. Those days we spend the time together, touching discreetly, gently, subtley. Nothing sexual, Zoro's not strong enough for that yet, just cuddling, or simple sitting next to each other. That's all. But Zoro spends the time pressed against me as often as he can. When we cuddle those nights, I hold him as he clings to me, and shakes, as he sobs quietly into my chest, even though he doesn't cry tears anymore.

He's getting better, and those words have scarred him permanently, hurt him badly, but with time, those wounds will heal. He'll never forget, I don't expect him to, but with time, I hope that Zoro's pain will fade, and you'll be nothing but a bitter memory for him that only makes him ache with a distant pain.

Zoro's pain, with time, care and love, will fade. Yours? I hope it never fades. I hope you spend the rest of your life struggling to get out of debt. I hope that when you wake up every morning, your joints ache and hurt badly from where we broke them. I hope you have to pay for years of physical therapy to get the fingers we broke working properly. Most of all, I hope you never forget how you hurt Zoro and never hurt another person like you hurt Zoro, again.

So if you ever decide to come looking for him again don't bother, because he won't be there. When you finally realize what you've lost, and you want him back, he won't want you anymore, because he'll have me. All of me. So, if you ever realize what you've lost, and you come looking, I'll tell you where you can find him. You'll find him next to me.

And I'll never let him go.


	5. The Contest

**Disclaimer**: One Piece belongs to Goda. Pfft, I don't own or profit from writing these stories, I just enjoy it. xD

**A/N**: This was/is(?) inspired by Auspizien's bodybuilder image. If you follow their tumblr, you know what I'm talking about. xD ;) So go give that image some loooooove! And if you have any love to spare, I'll take some of those scraps too please! xDDDDDDD

As always my readers, read, review, and enjoyyyyy~!

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Sanji was fucking pissed.

That shitty geezer he called a father, Zeff, had tricked him!

Zeff had called Sanji last night saying a good friend of his had asked Zeff to go judge a swimsuit contest. Sanji snorted at the memory. Swimsuit contest his ass! Sanji had refused at first, but when Zeff had mentioned that all the contestants were women, Sanji had immediately volunteered to go. Beautiful ladies in beautiful swimsuits? Of course he would go! Sanji was a ladies man of course! Besides, he had to go to make sure that each and every beautiful lady was treated fairly and honestly during the contest. Something he quite seriously told Zeff over the phone too! Yes, women were his weakness, and he enjoyed doting on them.

After hanging up with Zeff, Sanji had spent some time that evening fantasizing about the women in _very_ skimpy swimsuits. Which of course had lead to Sanji having to jerk off.

He'd gone to bed that night sated, and excited for the contest the next morning.

Imagine his surprise when he saw the banner proudly declaring '_Men's bodybuilding contest!_' He'd stopped where he stood, just in front of the banner staring at it in shock. He'd dressed up in one of his best day to day suits too, a three piece suit with a black jacket, a royal blue vest underneath, with a crisp, white button down shirt. His tie was a nice light blue, complimenting the vest he worse. Although, when Sanji saw the contest, he'd peeled his jacket off and removed the vest. Tossing the vest into the backseat of his small four door sedan, he glared at the banner. If he was judging men, he didn't think the apes would be able to recognize his suits. Still, a part of Sanji was hopeful that the contest was for body building women. Well, there was only one way to find out, wasn't there?

With a deep breath Sanji strode inside the building, already the place was crowded with people trying to get in to see the contest, or with people milling about. Sanji's ears reddened as he walked towards the table that had been set up to collect and process the payment for the entrance fees. Seeing as it was being run by two young men, one with pink hair and one with blonde hair, Sanji grit his teeth and said politely to the pink haired male "Excuse me, I'm Sanji Black-"

The boy with pink hair looked up, and Sanji was overcome by the huge glasses on the other male's face. These glasses were round, circular, and seemed as if they were bigger than the kid's eyes. Blinking, Sanji noticed the name tag on the boy's chest reading 'Coby'. Whatever, Sanji didn't need to know the kid's name after this contest was over. Coby blinked and said "Ah! You're here!" He turned to the blonde man next to him and said "Helmeppo, where's Mr. Black's name tag? He's one of the judges." While the kid Coby had called Helmeppo looked for Sanji's badge, Coby turned to Sanji and said "Didn't anyone tell you? You're supposed to have been here an hour ago!"

An hour ago? Sanji shook his head and said "No, no one told me. I'm filling in for my shitty father, he had to bow out and take care of some stuff at work. I'm here in his place, he only told me what time I had to be here and what I was doing." Coby nodded his head, understanding completely. He'd heard of Zeff, and Sanji, from a friend of a friend of a friend's ex-best friend's girlfriend. They'd said that Sanji was a flirt, and apparently quite annoying about women, but it was none of his business.

When Helmeppo handed Coby the name tag, Coby handed it over to Sanji and said "Once you pin your badge on, please go backstage and look for the other two judges. Their names are Franky and Shanks. Don't worry, they'll be hard to miss, so if you go back there, you should be able to spot them quickly!" Sanji nodded and took his badge with a muttered "Thanks" before entering the auditorium.

Looking around the auditorium, Sanji could already tell that that place was almost full. Was male bodybuilding really that popular? He couldn't see the appeal or the charm of it, he really couldn't. Men didn't have the same appeal as women did. Women were beautiful, elegant creatures that were fragile, delicate and deserved to be worshipped and served! Ah yes, women were far better than men! Shaking his head, Sanji made his way down the steps, he had to get to the back and meet the fellow judges so that he could figure out what he was supposed to do.

It turned out that the judges were indeed noticeable. Franky, a speedo wearing guy with blue hair looked like a body builder himself. Sanji could live without the guy shouting "Suuuuppppeeerrr!" every other sentence though. Shanks seemed to be an alright, and somewhat normal guy. He was really dark and cranky though, but Sanji learned from Franky's not so subtle 'super!' whisper that Shanks was hungover and that was his default hungover expression. That didn't reassure Sanji one bit. He was judging a contest with a super ex-bodybuilder, and a hungover guy? Great. He'd clearly be the voice of reason between the three of them. Still, even though Sanji wanted to ring Zeff's neck, he had to fulfill his obligations to the judging. He'd promised Zeff he'd do it. He muttered under his breath "Shitty geezer!"

"What was that Sanji-Bro?" Franky asked, having been distracted from his long-winded speech about the judging and how he came to be involved. Sanji looked up and shook his head. He said quickly "Ah! No, no, it's nothing! I was just wondering how we were supposed to judge the contestants?"

Franky grinned and said "It's suuuuuper simple, Sanji-bro! We just judge each contestant individually and then at the end of the first round, he take the cards with the highest ratings and we judge from there until we have a final round where the top ten bodybuilders pose for us again with their super muscles, and we rank them! It's super simple, Sanji-bro!" Sanji had to resist rubbing his temples. He could tell that this contest would end up giving him a headache, he had definitely not planned on spending his sunday this way. Not at all. Franky interrupted his thoughts by asking "You alright, Sanji-bro?"

Sanji looked up and said waving the other male off "Yeah, I'll be fine. Will Shanks be okay to judge though?" He didn't know how well a hungover guy could judge a contest, so he wondered if Shanks would really be okay to fairly judge this contest or whatever. Franky grinned and said "Shanks just went to get a beer, and then after that, he'll be super!"

Definitely not reassuring.

Well, whatever. Sanji grumbled "Let's just go and get this done."

* * *

If Sanji had expected this contest to be fast, he had another thing coming. THIRTY-TWO CONTESTANTS?! Sanji hadn't been prepared when he'd seen those numbers, but, well, it was to be expected he supposed. Well, he didn't know for sure if it was. After all, how many bodybuilders would actually bother to show up for this contest? Apparently thirty. When the first ten contestants had come out one after the other, Sanji hadn't been all that impressed. Sure, they were muscular and musclebound, some were good enough to inspire Franky to cry with tears of 'super!' praise for their muscles. Sanji on the other hand had ranked them with little to no interest. Each of them had had decent muscles, but they weren't that impressive. Sanji hadn't seen any appeal in them.

It was when contestant number thirty came out that Sanji finally started to see some appeal in this judging thing. Before this contestant, all the other meatheads had been spray-tanned meatheads, with gelled back hair and greasy bodies. They really looked like they'd been auditioning to be on the jersey shore with Snooki, and her friends. Not that there was anything wrong with a beautiful lady dressing how she wanted! He just thought that no matter the gender, man or woman, orange spray tans looked ridiculously stupid and fake.

However, contestant thirty had no such problem. According to the sheet, the man's name was Roronoa Zoro. Zoro's body was all tan, in a way that was clearly natural. There were no tan lines to be seen from the judge's table, and something about the man's posture told Sanji that the man had genetics to thank for his tan. The next thing Sanji noticed, besides Zoro's muscles and skin, was the green hair that was a buzz cut growing out, allowing his hair to stick out in every direction. There was obviously some gel in Zoro's hair to muss it up and give it the 'I just rolled out of bed look', but it didn't look all slimy and fake like the other bodybuilders. Sanji then noticed the cocky smirk on Zoro's face, along with the three gold earrings dangling from the male's left ear lobe. As Sanji studied the male's face, he briefly wondered how Zoro had gotten the scar over his left eye. The pronounced scar slashed diagonally over Zoro's chest was curious as well.

When Sanji's eyes met Zoro's, he flushed as the man's cocky smirk turned into a cocky grin, as if Zoro realized Sanji was doing more than 'judging'. Before Sanji could look away, Franky leaned over and whispered in Sanji's ear "Sanji-bro, are you okay? Your nose is bleeding."

Shit! Sanji blused furiously and pulled out a packet of tissues to blot the blood from his nose. With the one hand holding the tissue to his nose, the other hand discreetly adjusted his pants, easing them a bit to make it more comfortable for the erection he was currently sporting thanks to the bodybuilder currently on stage. Turning his attention to the ranking sheet for Zoro, Sanji looked up as an idea came to him. Wiping the last of the blood from his nose, Sanji tossed the bloody tissue into the small garbage bin by the judge's table. Satisfied his face was clean, he looked right back at Zoro and offered a confident smirk. Filling out Zoro's ranking sheet with the highest marks he could possibly give, he looked back up at Zoro.

After the contest was over, he'd have to thank Zeff for asking him to judge this contest. But first, he'd have to get Zoro's number, and see if they could have a _private_ judging session without the custom black speedo every bodybuilder in this contest had to wear. Sanji would make sure to judge _everything _Zoro's body had to offer before giving the man a different sort of first prize.

Sanji would definitely be a very strict judge.

Sanji's smirk turned into almost a leer as he watched Zoro finish posing and start to march off stage, still smirking confidently as he went. Sanji couldn't wait for this contest to be over.

After all, he was going to be doing some private judging later on, if Zoro's knowing smirk was anything to go by.


	6. The Last Adventure

**Disclaimer: **One Piece and all the characters belongs to Eiichiro Oda. I don't own/make a profit off of these characters. 

**A/N**: I normally write zosan, and of course the one, solitary drabble from Luffy's point of view. Well, guess what! I'm writing from a different character's point of view, specifically, Brook's! I'm not sure how well I've done, but I tried my best! This was inspired by a doujinshi I read ages ago that I can't remember the name of, but Amaitsumi on tumblr translated it, which is where I read it! This is mostly nakamaship with a hint of Zosan. Please let me know what you think! As always, please read and review! 

* * *

After the Rumbar Pirates, Brook had promised himself that the Strawhat crew would be the last pirate crew he would ever join.

It had been a good run, no, a _great_ run really. They had gotten so far. Luffy had been a great captain, and the crew had been wonderful. After floating in the mists of Thriller Bark for so long, the company of the Strawhat crew had been like a breath of fresh air for his lungs- Ah! He was a skeleton, so he had no lungs. Yohohohoho. Skull joke. Somehow, that thought felt...bitter. With the scene before him, it was too painful to think about.

They had been traveling on towards their next adventure when the marines had attacked them. Brook didn't think anything of it, none of the crew did. Of course Usopp, and Chopper panicked, as per usual, but even then, there was a confidence in the crew. They had spent two years training, improving themselves, and their skills, and they routinely beat the marines. So everything should have gone smoothly and been fine.

It wasn't.

Sure, they had beaten the marines, sent them all flying, but what they hadn't know at the time, what Marines were probably just now figuring out themselves, was that one of the crews on one of the many ships that had attacked them, had been sick. Neither side had know, so they'd fought, coming into contact with the sick crewmen, and spreading it to the other crew members. Brook was the only one that hadn't been affected, he was already dead after all. Whatever the illness was, they didn't know, but it had been quick.

Four days after the attack, Chopper was the first to fall sick, the poor little reindeer didn't know what hit him. He'd been fine for those first three days, it even seemed that he was getting better. Four days later, he was dead. By then, Nami and Usopp were already sick. Without their doctor, the crew was helpless, but still, everyone tried to help them, but without their navigator and their doctor, it was hard. On the fourth day, Nami fell into a coma, and she never woke up. She simply passed away in her sleep on the seventh day. For Usopp it was different. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain. Screaming, always screaming. He couldn't even speak, his eyes were blood shot, and he screamed so much, in so much pain that the remainder of the crew had to discuss what to do. It was already clear that Usopp was suffering. Blood leaked out of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth, and he wouldn't eat anything, in fact, they could barely get him to drink water. When Usopp wasn't screaming in agony, he was unconscious from all the pain and screaming.

They killed him in his sleep.

It was a mercy.

But it felt like a sin.

To kill one of your own nakama in their sleep, when they couldn't defend themselves. But, it had to be done. Usopp was in pain, and there was no way they could get to an island in time to find a cure. At first, Zoro, Sanji and Robin had volunteered to be the one to free Usopp from his pain, Zoro was the first mate, he should have been the one to do it, he'd argued. Sanji had argued that he should do it because he didn't want to stain anyone else with taking a Nakama's life. Robin had volunteered because she was a former assassin for the government, so killing was a lot easier for her, nakama or not. However, Luffy had refused. "I am the captain, and Usopp is nakama." That was his reasoning. Luffy had taken Usopp on this voyage, and because he was the one who had asked Usopp to come, he'd been the one to do it.

Brook knew the weight of this decision, so he'd followed after Luffy, to help Luffy, in case he needed help.

He didn't.

Luffy had simply done what Robin had showed him and snapped Usopp's neck. Quick, and painless. It was as if Usopp was still sleeping. But the tears streaming down Luffy's face said otherwise. Brook didn't know how to comfort Luffy, so instead, he just stepped aside and followed after Luffy when he left the sick bay.

After that, Zoro went into the infirmary, and neatly wrapped Usopp up in a white cloth, like a shroud and gently carried his body to the empty storage room where Franky had set aside a special space for the bodies of their dead nakama. They were going to find the closest island and bury them there, that was what Luffy had decided. No one had bothered to question it. In fact, Brook thought that that would be a good idea, because when the Rumbar pirates had died, he'd had their bodies with him on the ship as they sailed, and instead of comfort, knowing their bodies weren't at peace had only brought him pain.

Franky was the next to go. It was a quick death. In fact, no one had even known he was sick, in fact, it seemed as if Franky hadn't even known he was sick. He'd been sitting at the kitchen table, trying to cheer the crew up, in place of Usopp and Chopper when he'd died. Franky had just done his "Super!" pose, when with a choked gasp of pain, he'd fallen over, dead at the crew's feet, his expression surprised as everyone else's. No one had expected that, not even him.

It took Zoro and Sanji to heave Franky's body below deck to rest him with the others.

Robin, Sanji, Zoro, Luffy and him.

They were the only ones left.

Robin was the next to go. Two days after Franky's death, she'd simply walked out of the women's quarters and up to the weight room where Zoro was on watch and had told him "I'm going to the infirmary." That said, she'd gone back down and straight into the infirmary. It was now known as the quarantine room. But, it was easy to see that everyone, Luffy included, knew that it was too late. They were all just waiting now. Waiting to die.

Robin didn't even make it to the seven day mark. She chose to die in her own way. She'd walked out on deck one morning, the fourth day, and had said her goodbyes. After that, she'd watched the sun for an hour before swallowing a bottle of pills and passing away peacefully, as if she were just falling asleep.

The ship is so big now. There's hardly anybody left. Sanji is no longer banging around in the kitchen as much. Zoro isn't sleeping as much either. Instead, he's constantly awake, always alert, as if he's expecting something to happen, as if he's hoping that he'll see something that will allow the dead crew members to come back to life and they can continue sailing, to carry on their dreams, to pick up where they left off. But no such hope was in sight and wouldn't be for a long time. We all knew that.

Zoro was the next one to get sick. He wasn't even afraid, he simply accepted it, like it was fate. Zoro was funny like that. He believed in nothing but himself and his abilities, but at the same time he believed in fate. Zoro was an interesting person in that way. But when Zoro got sick, he bravely tried to carry on, to pretend he wasn't sick, but when Sanji kicked him, sending Zoro clear across the deck, we all knew. We could tell in the way Zoro's breath labored as he struggled to get up. He tried to pretend other wise, that he was fine, but we all knew differently. He was sick.

The second strongest member of the strawhat crew was dying.

Luffy tried to be there for Zoro, like he'd been there for everyone else. But Sanji wouldn't let him. "No need for you to get sick too, Luffy." Luffy had protested, saying that he wanted to take care of Zoro, his nakama. But Sanji had refused by firmly shutting the door and locking it. For a while now, when everyone had still been alive, we'd all suspected that there had been something more between the cook and the swordsman. Something more than those nasty fights, those angry insults. But they had never said anything about it, never given so much as a hint. Still, in the end, they were together.

On the seventh day, Sanji came out of the infirmary, thin, pale, and looking exhausted, his once pristine suit was wrinkled and dirty. His expression said what we already knew. Zoro was dead. When I offered to bring Zoro's body down to the hold, Sanji had refused. He'd do it himself. Sanji, with more care and affection than he'd ever shown Zoro in life, or at least, that we'd ever seen, carried Zoro below deck and laid him to rest besides the bodies of our other crew members.

No one said anything.

Instead, I played Bink's Sake not to cheer them up, but because it somehow comforted me. It was the last song I'd played with the Rumbar pirates, and I wanted it to somehow give comfort to the Strawhat pirates in our final days.

Nobody slept that night.

Instead, Luffy, Sanji and I all stayed on deck. The Thousand Sunny was basically drifting now anyways, no one had the heart to try and steer it anymore.

Sanji leaned against the rail, smoking a cigarette, and I, well, I was playing Bink's Sake once more. Luffy just sat there, like he didn't know what to do with himself, which, he probably didn't. His nakama, his precious nakama were dying, and he couldn't help them. All he had left was Sanji and I, but even then, there was nothing we could do, Sanji's death, my death, and even Luffy's were inevitable, it wasn't something we could stop. If the illness was ravaging us this horribly, a morbid sense of curiosity made me wonder how it was affecting the marine's on the ship that had spread the illness to us. I wonder if they were losing all their people, or if they had a cure. A part of me hoped they didn't. I wanted them to suffer and lose their crew like we had.

That morning, at sunrise, Sanji quietly put his cigarette out. He nodded to me once, and I smiled and continued to play. I could see from his expression what he wanted to do, and that I couldn't tell Luffy because Luffy would try to stop him. Sanji wasn't even sick, as far as I could tell, but then, maybe he was sick? I wasn't sure. Still, before Sanji walked past a snoring Luffy, he quietly picked up the strawhat and placed it on Luffy's chest. He then ruffled Luffy's hair, offering a silent goodbye to his Captain. Then, without even looking back, Sanji went below deck and was gone. When I went down to check on him later, I found Sanji curled in Zoro's embrace. I could see his chest rising and falling, as he slept, curled against his beloved. I knew he wouldn't wake up again. He didn't want to. Zoro was gone, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he too got sick and died, so he chose to die in the arms of the man he loved, something I truly admired him for.

Now it was just Luffy and I.

I tried to cheer Luffy up, but it didn't help. There was only the two of us now.

Three days later, Luffy finally spoke at breakfast, something I, with my limited cooking knowledge had made. It wasn't anything like what Sanji made, but it was okay nonetheless. "Brook... I'm sick too."

Luffy's voice was hoarse, like he'd been crying a long time, and I could tell he had, because I had been too. "What shall we do then, Luffy-san?"

Luffy, for all his immaturity stared at me with an expression that could only be described as wise beyond his years. He seemed to mull over his answer for awhile, trying to decide the best course of action. Finally, he said "I don't want the marines to get the Sunny, and I don't want them to touch my nakama."

I could understand what Luffy was saying to some degree. The marines didn't love the Thousand Sunny like we did, and the bodies of the crew would only get desecrated and destroyed. They didn't deserve that disrespect or betrayal. So, I offered a suggestion, one I knew would give the crew a burial with the utmost respect, and the dignity they deserved. "We could bury them at sea, Luffy-san. We could burn the Thousand Sunny so that the marines don't get ahold of the ship. I too don't want the marines to touch the Thousand Sunny or our Nakama."

Luffy nodded and solemnly put his trade mark strawhat on his head. He said "Except Franky's body. This was his ship, his dream. I want him to go down with the ship."

I nodded my ahead and said just as solemnly "Yes, Luffy-san." Silence fell over us for awhile, and I finally asked "When would you like to do this, Luffy-san?"

Luffy seemed to mull it over for a moment before he answered "At sunset."

With that decided, we spent the day making the final preparations. Luffy and I cleaned the ship from top to bottom. Who knows, maybe we'd sail on this ship in the afterlife, and if we did, Luffy would need it to be in good shape for the journey. It took most of the day to clean the ship, that, as sunset came upon us, we made the final preparations. We lowered the anchor because the spot we were in was nice, the weather was warm, and nice, the kind of day that was good for a final goodbye. Luffy and I then moved Franky's body to the engineer's workshop, where he spent his time working. Next, we lowered each body, one at a time into the ocean. No words were said as we did this, but it was painful.

We lowered Zoro's and Sanji's bodies last. Luffy wanted to wrap them up in one white sheet. "Bury them at sea as they were found. Together." I agreed. After resting Zoro's swords at his side on the sheet, he moved Sanji to lie curled against Zoro's side as we'd found him. By then he was dead, hearbreak, and despair killing him in the end, not sickness. We lowered them carefully into the ocean depths. Hopefully they were resting with our other Nakama's bodies, but we didn't know.

Luffy spoke then, breaking the silence "Brook...Play one last song? To say goodbye?"

I could only fulfill his request. I said "Of course, Luffy-san." Walking over to the bench where my violin sat, I picked it up and played Bink's Sake one last time.

I'm sorry Laboon. It looks like I won't be able to fulfill that promise. I hope this final song reaches you in the end.

As I played, Luffy opened Sanji's lighter and clicked it on. Tossing it on the grass, it lit up almost instantly, thanks in part to the flammable nature of grass, and the flammable liquid we'd tossed all over the deck and ship. Below deck, and in every major room, we'd left some gunpowder, we wanted to make sure that in the end, the ship was completely destroyed, and no one would ever be able to use this ship. As I played, Luffy sang along, saying his goodbyes to the ship. His breathing was raspy, weak. He was dying and wouldn't last much longer. After the final chords drifted silent, I walked through the flames on the Sunny's deck and gently, lovingly set my violin down.

Turning, I walked back over to Luffy. Luffy stood on the ship's railing, staring at the water below, the sunset at our backs. Hopping up onto the railing next to him, Luffy offered a grin at me. Before I could question what he was doing, he'd leaped into my arms for a final hug. But, instead of letting go, like he'd expected, I held on. Carrying him in my arms bridal style, I finally heard the sound of the ship beginning to explode at my back. It seemed the gunpowder was finally catching, but it didn't matter, because, we were leaving anyways. Grinning at Luffy, I asked in my most cheerful voice "Luffy-san, are you ready to go on one last adventure?"

Luffy offered me his best smile, his brightest one, a smile I hadn't seen since every one first got sick and he said sounding faintly excited "Let's go!" He fixed the strawhat on his head one last time and once more wrapped his hands loosely around my neck.

I stepped off the railing, and together, with Luffy, the Thousand Sunny and the rest of our crew, sank into the ocean depths below.

As Brook sank into the ocean depths, he smiled.

The strawhat crew was the last crew he'd joined, and he was with them until the very end.

He wasn't lonely anymore.

___Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho,_

_Binkusu no sake wo, todoke ni yuku yo_

_Umikaze kimakase namimakase_

_Shio no mukou de, yuuhi mo sawagu_

_Sora nya wa wo kaku, tori no uta_


	7. Surprise!

**Disclaimer:** One Piece and all of the characters belong to Eiichiro Oda. I don't own, or make a profit off my fanfiction. I just enjoy writing this stuff.

**A/N: **So I got prompts from people on tumblr(yay!), and I'm posting them here. I'll probably post a prompt or two a day, if I'm being ambitious. Realistically, probably more like one prompt a day, and in order. These things end up way longer than I intend, so it'll take me awhile to write. Anyways, yeah, if you gave me a prompt, it'll be up here eventually, just check back daily/check my tumblr to see if your prompt was posted or not!

**WARNING**: This is kinda smutty/pervy. Basically, Sanji's a lot more perverted than I intended in this fic. I tried to make it funny, but I think I just ended up making Sanji a horn dog and Zoro the poor (but willing) victim.

**Prompt** from tumblr by masteryoshi88: AU Zoro and Sanji get caught(having sex, making out, sneaking in, etc. You pick) by Zeff.

* * *

Zoro and Sanji had been dating for two years now. It had been rocky at first, fighting more than fucking, screaming and shouting instead of laughing and loving, but eh, they got the hang of this relationship shit after awhile. Well, the wake up call that they were getting too out of hand was when they'd both been thrown in jail overnight for a public disturbance. They'd bee fighting pretty badly, the usual sparring with Sanji's kicks, and Zoro's punches. Luckily the cops had thought that they were drunk and had just needed to sober up., so they'd been locked up over night to 'sober up'. In reality, Zoro never got drunk, and Sanji had only had one glass of wine, both parties were far from drunk, but that night in jail had been the wake up call they'd needed.

Now, two years later, they were together, and were better than ever. Their relationship was strong and steady, their sparring was done mostly in the gym or when they wanted a rough fuck. The sparring at the gym was a kind of foreplay sometimes. Sanji fondly remembered the time when they'd sparred at the D. brother's gym in basketball shorts. Luckily no one had been around then, otherwise they'd have come in to find Sanji snarling as he shoved Zoro's face into the mat as he fucked him from behind... Or worse, Zoro face fucking Sanji as he stood over him. Yeeeeeah, that had been an amazing fuck. Sanji couldn't help but leer at his lover who was too distracted to notice.

Sanji's mind moved back to the matter at hand. If he thought about that night any more than he already had, he'd cream his pants before they even got home, and he wanted to cream Zoro's ass...or stomach, or in Zoro's mouth. Basically, as long as his cum landed somewhere on Zoro, he would be really fucking happy. Con-fucking-gratulations to him. Well, Sanji amended mentally, they were definitely going to be doing a lot of fucking. Little Sanji was practically _drooling _in anticipation. He grinned to himself as they drove home fr-"LEFT YOU SHITTY MARIMO, I SAID FUCKING LEFT! NO! THAT'S YOUR FUCKING RIGHT!" Maybe he should have been the one to drive them home. At least if he'd driven, they'd be home and fucking by now. Seeeeeeeeex. Yep, Sanji was definitely not thinking about anything else but sex. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He had to at least focus until they got home.

They'd gone out for an early dinner at a nice japanese restaurant to celebrate the fact that Sanji had gotten that loan from the bank to start his own restaurant. He liked working with his father, Zeff, but shit, he was twenty-six years old, he grew up with the Baratie, but it was time he went out and got his own restaurant. He would never be able to thank his adoptive father for helping him for so long, but Sanji wanted to make the shitty geezer proud.

It was this desire that had driven him to apply for a loan from the bank. He'd still work at the Baratie until Zeff could either replace him, or his restaurant was finished and opened. For now, that was the plan. Zoro would keep his job as a kendo instructor since Zoro didn't have an interest in helping to run the restaurant. He'd help Sanji with the heavy lifting, and kicking out unruly restaurant guests, as well as catching people that tried to skip out on the bill. Other than that, Zoro had assured Sanji that the restaurant was his baby.

Such had been the topic of discussion at dinner. But over dessert, Zoro had something that really made an impression on Sanji. It wasn't anything particularly sappy, or romantic, because realistically, the shitty marimo wasn't capable of that with out some(a lot) of help.

"I can't just make a dessert the Baratie makes, shitty marimo! I'm not creating another 'Baratie'. I'm calling the restaurant 'All Blue', shit head, and if I have a menu item like the Baratie has, people are just gonna think that my restaurant is just another branch of the shitty geezer's!" Sanji huffed as he took a bite of his delicious fruit parfait, noticing the fact that they'd overdone it a bit with the sugar, and that the yogurt part of the parfait was a little too chalky. If he'd made it, he'd have added a lot less sugar, used a tart fruit and made the yogurt way more creamy.

Zoro snorted, uncomfortably yanking on the collar of his shirt. Shit he hated new shirts, but the shit cook wanted to go somewhere nicer than usual to celebrate, so he'd had no choice. Forgetting what he wanted to say, Zoro was silent for a moment. Finally remembering what he wanted to say, he shot back "I never said that, shit-cook! All these restaurants have same things on the menu, don't they? But each place makes it with different ingredients, like you're always bitching at me. So why not do the same with Baratie?"

Zoro grumbled under his breath as Sanji stole a bite of the creme brulee Zoro was eating. Zoro hardly had a sweet tooth, but creme brulee wasn't too sweet for Zoro's taste buds, and Sanji wanted it, so he'd ordered it. Sanji said, ignoring Zoro's previous words, distracted by the dessert "Mmm. I like their creme brulee, I'll make some for you sometime. What do you think, Zoro?"

The change in topic didn't surprise Zoro. Now that Sanji was finally one step closer to actually getting the restaurant, he was already thinking about the menu. Zoro answered without thinking "I don't care what you make, shit cook. If you're the one who made it, I'll eat it, even if it tastes like shit. As long as you're the one who made it, I'll eat it."

When Sanji didn't answer, Zoro had been concerned for a moment, wondering if he'd said something wrong. However, when he looked over at Sanji, Sanji's expression was hard to describe. "O-Oi c-" Sanji interrupted and said "Zoro, shut up." Lowering his voice an octave, to a sexy little purr that never failed to get Zoro's blood pumping south, he purred "Let's go home."

Zoro swallowed thickly, his pants tightening as he felt his body flush with arousal. Thank god he'd chosen to wear a pair of jeans that were loose enough to hide his erection, otherwise walking out of this restaurant would have been awkward. Before he could even respond by flagging down a waitress for the bill, Sanji had already done so, clearly thinking ahead.

After paying the bill, they'd rushed to the car, and were now trying to get home as fast as the speed limit would allow. Although getting home was a bit difficult because Zoro kept getting lost, and Sanji kept distracting Zoro by groping his erection through his pants.

Somehow, after a lot of shouting, fondling and groping, they made it home. Getting out of the car, Zoro was quick to walk around the car and yank Sanji into a kiss, not caring that he'd had to pull the male up and out of the car into the kiss. Breaking the kiss briefly so that Sanji could get fully out of the car, he shut the car door behind Sanji, locking the car as they stumbled back and up on the sidewalk.

Stumbling up the stairs towards their apartment, Sanji and Zoro couldn't stop touching each other, their hands roaming each other's bodies as they moved. They stopped their heated carresses only when they passed a grouped of young kids on one of the floors. However, once they reached the fourth floor, they were all over each other again, hot and heavy. Stumbling back, an "Mmmph!" escaped Sanji's lips as he was slammed against the wall, Zoro's hands on either side of his head caging him in. Not that Sanji wanted to get away.

Breaking the kiss, Sanji fumbled with Zoro's shirt, but Zoro's hands pushed his away. Yanking his shirt over his head, Zoro kept his shirt in one hand as he surged forward to resuming kissing Sanji once more, his one hand fumbling with the buttons on Sanji's shirt. Sanji fumbled with the rest of the buttons on his shirt, abandoning the task once his shirt hung open as they stumbled towards the door to their apartment.

Sanji wrapped his legs around Zoro's waist as Zoro fumbled with the keys to their apartment, one hand holding his shirt and the other hand automatically moving to cup Sanji's bottom. Finally, Zoro managed to open the door, and as they stumbled into the dark apartment, their touches got a little more intimate when the lights suddenly flicked on.

"Surprise!"

"Ack! My eyes!

"Ohmygod!"

"Shishishi, Zoro and Sanji are wrestling!"

Was the general din that registered in their brains after the lights flicking on. Breaking the kiss, Sanji looked startled, and maybe just a teensy bit pissed. Ordinarily, he loved seeing his friends, but he couldn't help but let a muffled whine escape his throat when he realized that this meant that the hot, sweaty, wall shaking, amazing, Zoro writhing wantonly beneath him, sucking Zoro's cock, fantastic, exhausting sex was put on hold indefinitely. Clearing his throat quietly, Sanji looked over the crowd in their apartment, Sanji recognized through the haze of lust that was rapidly clearing, their friends all standing there. He noticed the 'Congratulations!' banner as well. Sanji vaguely remembered telling Nami and Luffy about getting the loan for the restaurant when they'd called him to invite Zoro and him to dinner earlier this evening. Sanji had had to decline, seeing as he and Zoro were going out for dinner already, and Zoro was really looking forward to the restaurant. Now that Sanji thought about it, Nami had a key to their apartment, and Luffy was probably the one that insisted on throwing a party to celebrate.

Well, shit.

Before Sanji could say anything, Zoro had unceremoniously dropped him, causing Sanji to yelp in surprise at being dropped. He snarled "Oi shithead! The fuck was that for?" Sanji got to his feet dusting his butt off. Realizing that the sex they'd been looking forward too only minutes before wasn't going to happen, Sanji started to button his shirt up, when it occurred to him that Zoro hadn't answered him. He asked "Marimo?"

Zoro made a soft noise in his throat of alarm, and Sanji followed his gaze until his own landed on Zeff. Zeff looked plenty amused at this point, and he was quite noticeably smirking. Stroking his beard once, he said "When I heard my eggplant got the loan for his first shitty restaurant, I thought I'd join the party to congratulate you, brat, but it seems you prefer Zoro's congratulations to mine, eh, you shitty eggplant?"

Sanji gaped, staring at his adoptive father.

Turning to look at Zoro, they shared a wordless exchange. Well, not really a wordless exchange, more like they'd come to agreement.

_They were well, and truly, fucked._

Zeff was _never_ going to let them live this down.


End file.
